FOMO, ROMO, JOMO: The Psychology Behind Three Different Attitudes

The Story of a Missed Concert Through the Lens of Three Types of Mindsets

When was the last time you missed a party, a concert or a sports event ? How did you feel after missing out? Imagine there's a highly anticipated music concert in town. Tickets are expensive, the venue is packed, and the social media buzz makes it feel like the event of the year.

Meet Sarah, Raj, and Aisha, who decided to attend the concert but missed out due to some or other reasons. Interestingly, each of them reacts differently to not attending the event. Through the lens of three individuals and a shared incident, we uncover how these attitudes manifest and what mindset that drives them towards.

Sarah: The FOMO Queen

Sarah, an avid party animal, an extrovert, and a bombshell of kinesthetic energy, spent the entire week leading up to the concert in a state of anxiety. Everyone she knew had bought tickets. On the night of the event, her phone buzzed incessantly with friends' Instagram stories and WhatsApp updates about the show. Sarah sat at home, scrolling through social media, feeling like the only person left out.

The fear of missing out consumed her. She imagined the fun her friends were having, the music, the laughter, the pictures—and she couldn’t shake off the thought: What if this is the best night of their lives? While Sarah was having a quiet evening, her mind was far from calm.

Raj: The ROMO Guy

Raj had initially planned to go but canceled at the last moment. He worried it might be too crowded, expensive, and overwhelming. As he settled in for the evening, watching his favorite Netflix series with a cup of tea, he felt relieved. He imagined the long lines at the entrance, the chaos of parking, and the hassle of getting home late at night.

Raj glanced at his friends' concert posts briefly, but shrugged them off. Missing out wasn't so bad, he thought. He felt at peace with his decision, knowing he had avoided the potential stress of being drowned in a suffocatingly thick crowd.

Aisha: The JOMO Advocate

Aisha, being timid and shy, who loves solitude, never considered going to the concert except a weak 'yes' to her friend's intimidation. She loves to immerse herself in soft melodious music rather than throwing herself into the crowd of dancers whose movements are akin to epileptic tantrums, and loud music that causes metallic pandemonium. For her, Saturday night was reserved for self-care. She lit candles, played soft music, and read a book she'd been looking forward to. She knew the concert would be noisy and crowded—not her scene.

Aisha genuinely felt joy in missing out. As she scrolled past photos of her friends at the concert, she smiled, happy for them but also happy for herself. She thought, Good for them, but this is exactly where I want to be.

The Psychology Behind FOMO, ROMO, and JOMO

While Sarah, Raj, and Aisha faced the same situation—not attending the concert—their reactions were shaped by different psychological drivers. These drivers are influenced by various factors like cultural orientation, upbringing, peer pressure, personal preferences, and dominant intelligence traits that govern them.

1. FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): Driven by Anxiety and Comparison

FOMO is fueled by a fear that others are having experiences we are not part of, leading to feelings of inadequacy and regret. Psychologists link FOMO to social comparison theory—our tendency to evaluate ourselves against others. Social media amplifies this fear by offering curated glimpses of other people's lives, often making them seem more exciting and fulfilling than our own.

What Drives FOMO?

• Fear of social exclusion

• Low self-esteem and insecurity

• Overreliance on external validation

Sarah’s experience highlights how FOMO can lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction, even if she had a perfectly fine evening at home.

2. ROMO (Relief of Missing Out): Driven by Avoidance and Self-Preservation

ROMO occurs when individuals avoid events or opportunities they perceive as stressful, chaotic, or overwhelming. It is often associated with risk aversion—the desire to protect oneself from discomfort. People like Raj experience relief because they prioritize comfort and practicality over social pressures.

What Drives ROMO?

• Fear of discomfort or stress

• Need for control and predictability

• Preference for low-stimulation environments

While Raj did not regret missing the concert, his decision was motivated more by avoidance than by joy.

3. JOMO (Joy of Missing Out): Driven by Contentment and Self-Awareness

JOMO is a positive mindset where individuals actively choose to miss out and feel joy in doing so. It stems from self-awareness and a strong sense of personal priorities. Unlike FOMO or ROMO, JOMO reflects contentment with one's choices and a lack of concern about others' experiences.

What Drives JOMO?

• High self-awareness and emotional intelligence

• Clear personal values and boundaries

• Ability to derive satisfaction from solitude or alternative activities

Aisha's experience represents the power of JOMO: She actively chose her happiness over societal expectations and felt fulfilled by her decision.

Choosing the Right Mindset

While FOMO, ROMO, and JOMO are natural responses to missing out, understanding the psychology behind them can help us shift toward healthier attitudes. Here are some takeaways:

• Address FOMO by recognizing that social media often portrays unrealistic highlights. Focus on gratitude for what you have.

• Embrace ROMO when avoiding stress, but question whether fear or avoidance is limiting your experiences.

• Cultivate JOMO by defining your priorities and feeling content with your choices.

Ultimately, life is full of opportunities—we can’t do it all, nor should we want to. Whether you choose to attend the concert or stay home with a book, the most important thing is to own your decision and find fulfillment in it.